HIDE AND SHRIEK

firstly, this very entry is the reason you just saw that content filter screen. and with that, you know it's gonna get good so please let me tell you the story of a night that will go down in hide and seek/summer history.

it was friday, the 1st of august and i received a group text from matt; "dudes what you up to tonight? got plans for a big game of scary hide and seek in the dark at mine. featuring scary lights and music. it's amazing. you in? xxx" which left me fairly confused but more curious. after talking to other invitees on msn i learned the scary music was ambient black metal, and with that i'm sold. next was to find a lift there. joel said mario would pick me up, weird but ok? after some phone calls turns out joel's also gonna be in the car, fine let's roll at 9:20. before that i wash my hair in the sink (just with water as i'm trying to only use shampoo once every 2 days now, which should be a lot easier once i have it cut short) do a poo, mix myself some vanilla vodka and diet coke and start sipping. i've rushed a bit so i have to wait around for a few minutes. get picked up, ask mario why she's doing this, love joel being drunk talking about how bad cptn obvs ipod is; "she has five blink songs and two of them are the rock show!"

we're greeted with a megaphone at matt's house, mario leaves = no girls allowed. meet and greet everyone in the garden bla bla bla and take it inside for drinking games.


shit gets real way too quick and before we know it everyone's drunk and it's pitch black outside. time for the rules, matt's little brother lays down the law.


first round: this is the view from my hiding place (under the parents bed) but with my ear to the floor i can feel all the vibrations of the black metal and can't stop laughing and get found pretty quickly, not first though!


second round: i hide lying down in a bath but apparently matt's family don't use shower curtains and i'm found first! third round: i'm on and find callum almost instantly crouched by a bin in the kitchen. i stumble across everyone else in time, under beds, in the shower, in cupboards and one boy in the boiler room. fourth round: i go for the downstairs approach and wind up crushed behind a computer desk, blocked in by a chair. it works! fool scans the room and heads upstairs.


end of round and everyone meets, bud break:


and then literally next thing i know, joel and jonny are playing conkers with their ball sacks. sure.




matt was ok with it but when people started rubbing their bums and balls on the furniture/guitar hero guitars he said he didn't really wanna have to see his little brother playing there and have that guilt on his conscience.


oh well.





only naturally, next comes props:



but then jonny introduces that well-known gaming classic, who can put the weirdest thing in their foreskin. first a tampon, then a pencil, a flashing light stick thing and a cigarette (which he's game for lighting).

but dan's late entry wins, a wotsit.


everyone puts their clothes back on, i turn down some cigarettes (fuck deth) and we start the fifth round: i hide in the brother's bedroom wardrobe. and luckily even though our room is the first searched, n00bs under the bed (that's so first round) and desk lose before me.


by this time mario has been back to deliver a new crate for people anyway and so can give me, joel and dan a lift home. only after a bit of trampoline fun though. obviously.



i get home in what feels like 2 minutes and make myself a cheese toasty in my new george foreman (thanks llwwss), head to bed and tell myself i'm not gay or about eight. thanks matt! ♥